It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
