I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
