4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need to align my fucking chakras
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
