If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
