apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
