ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
