Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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