we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
