Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
