you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
