So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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