drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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