was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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