Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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