Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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