This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
