Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
