I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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