I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
