I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
