My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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