There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I lost the right to judge tonight
How does it feel to date your dad?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
