I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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