Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
