Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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