She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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