When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
