at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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