So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
