I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
