Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
