Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize