Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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