omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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