my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
