Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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