i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
