Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
