the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
