It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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