nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Only a mothe r could love this liver
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
