Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
