He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
