Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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