The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
