There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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