this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
