google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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