I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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