Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
