Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So many bounce houses so little time
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
