plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
