THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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