...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize