can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
