Pappa wants mamma naked
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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