I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
