i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
