My brain says no but my pants say off.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i believe in u and ur pee
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
