Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
