Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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